Day 51

I am in a rut.  I have no excitement in my life. I guess the "honeymoon" is over already.  The last 3 days I have been blah, even the energy has been lost.  Maybe that is some of the reason I am in a rut, I am not getting anything done like I was.  I feel no accomplishment.

In reading other blogs I am thinking I am cycling in the PAWS.  I had told my DH that this was a possibility and he had said at the time "Not you, you are too head strong not to get it all done at once".  I know he was joking and being supportive, and I was truly hoping he was right but unfortunately he wasn't.

My irritability is through the roof. No one can do any right in my eyes and I feel horrible about that.  I see what I am doing but can't seem to stop it. I have been taking vitamins trying to stay on top of it but I must need more. 

It does not help that I am watching TV shows and it shows how people are sober for years and still struggle every day with it.  Is this it?  Is this what sober life is?  I feel like it is Groundshogs Day.  I want more.  I want excitement and fulfillment.

I will make it through and hopefully I will snap out of it quickly.  If I don't like myself how is anyone going to like me or put up with me.


Heres to tomorrow...!!!