Well I have made it 26 days and this weekend was a little bit of a struggle. Friday night wasn't too bad, did some things around the house and went to bed about 9:30 (that is late for me lately). Saturday DH and I went out of town to do our grocery shopping. Anyone who knows me knows I hate shopping and being around people (sorry I do like people just not lots in one place). Well the morning was great, I was up at 8:30 and ready to leave the house by 10 (the old me would have been lucky if I was ready by 1, and at that time I was really contemplating taking a nap first).
This waking up during morning time sure feels empowering lol. The ride over was pretty good, DH and I were joking back and forth having a good time. We went to breakfast and stopped at a few places to pick things up. Then... we hit Wally World. Did ok to start with but then went to electronics' and DH ticked me off.... (money is a sore subject in our household. Could be that I am so controlling of it which I will admit). I tried like heck to let it go and finish the shopping. We had to stop at the discount liquor store for my Dear Grandmother (yes drinking runs in my family). Shopping there really didn't bother me much, I didn't have the desire to buy anything which I thought was a great achievement. But my mood was still not so well on the way home I was very reserved and quite. Of course DH has to try to make things better which doesn't work and frustrates me more. He is always... "Don't be cranky", "what's the matter?", "What you thinking?", "Do you need spanked?". Sometimes I just want to be left alone in my little bubble. I kind of chilled out when we got home but the wine witch was sure talking to me. In the past I was always having a nipper as we put the groceries away (after having a few on the way home). But I survived the night thank goodness.
Well Sunday morning comes around and DH had gone fishing with his work buddies (at my persuasion). I woke up early again, but I woke up very cranking. The money issue was really raking on my nerves. The more I thought about the more I wanted to say to hell with it and go buy a bottle. The frustration was so bad, I even brought myself to tears a couple times. In the past when DH and I would have issues, my solution was to have a few drinks to lighten up and hopefully let things go. But today I had to really deal with them. My house did get pretty clean for it being the weekend (I try not to do housework on the weekend but I needed the distraction). When DH came home he knew right away I was not in the best of moods. Of course he thought it was his fishing and I was upset that I was home alone cleaning. Silly men, when will they every learn to read a woman's mind? Well he pushed and pushed until I told him what I was upset about. Have to say it is kind of funny, once he learned what the real reason was the subject dropped kind of quickly. I did not pursue it any further either not wanting to tussle about it anymore. I was pretty blah all afternoon but made it though it and went to bed early as I knew he was going to do no right in my mind (poor man).
Today is a new day. I am feeling a little better and not searching for reasons to drink. I know I am in control and I have the choice to let the wine witch bring me down or I can look at what I have accomplished in the last 26 days and be proud and move on one day at a time. I know every day life is always going to be a challenge I just have to make sure I accept the right way and do the best I can to get over the hurdle and move one.
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