I have made a major life change and I feel in order to stay on track, I need a resource to look back and see how far I have come. I think through my struggles and accomplishments being put in black and white, it will help me over the humps.
This blog may be very unorganized and I apologize for that but as stated above I am far from a professional. This is more of an online journal for my personal use. If by chance this blog does become public I hope it will help someone else struggling with their alcohol free life (AF) as I am confident (and honestly hopeful) I will succeed.
So as of today I am 20 days AF. This is an accomplishment I have not made in the last 25 years other than when I was pregnant (x3).
Summary of the first few days
March 20, 2018 drank to much last night.. called off sick from work because I couldn't get out of bed (mainly too tired to function). Not too bad of a day resisting (but that is not unusual when I over indulge the night before)
March 21, 2018 day 2... habits are really hard to break, I do have a major craving for it. Working through it. Very tired!!!
March 22, 2018 Day 3 Still struggling with the habit and the cravings are pretty severe. Horrible headache all day long. Nights are very difficult for me. Surprisingly I do not have the shakes which is a plus. My dear mother asked me to come over and visit and have a couple shots. She is the first I admitted to (other than my Dear Husband {DH}) that I was quitting drinking. Not cutting down but quitting. I at first said no I was too tired to go over (which was true but also an excuse as I didn't want to make it worse for myself). But I felt guilty and traveled the whole block and a half to visit her. It was a nice visit with no partaking of a nipper. I know I was more quiet than normal but it was enjoyable.
March 23, 2018 Day 4 Pretty cranky all the time (excluding day time at work as drinking never crosses my mind). Headache is horrible still. Sleep definitely eludes me and people that know me.... sleep is very important to me :(. Have a fog brain for sure. Very scattered brained.
March 24, 2018 Day 5 Still very moody but home alone at night so only the poor pups see my frustrations. Went out to dinner with the parentals (as they are moving away leaving me... bad time to quit drinking... how will I cope?). Very proud of myself... went to the restaurant that I always had 2 glasses of wine with dinner but I had a Pepsi. I did eye the table next to us with a beautiful glass of wine but I held strong. First FRIDAY night was a success even going out of the house.
March 25th 2018 Day 6 Very moody and emotional. I can cry at anything for no reason. Today was a rough day. I have discovered my DH is my trigger (excuse I know). Any little thing he did wrong or I took wrong I would think of going to buy a drink. Even threw it in his face at one point... totally unfair to him. Kept busy moving furniture but that also contributed to my frustrations which made the craving much more sever. I survived the night and went to bed early. Sleep still is not good but seems to be getting a little better. Headache seems to be easing up some.
March 26th Day 7... Made it through the weekend. It was bumpy but I survived and am very proud of myself. Feel pretty selfish. Don't feel I get enough recognition from DH at how well I am doing. I know it is not his fault as I am not sure he honestly knows how hard this has been for me as he is not a drinker. Headache still present but not a sever. Brain fog is still getting me pretty good. Keeping busy at night to take my mind off the habit. Can't say I am having "cravings" but I do tend to walk to the cupboard absentmindedly so that is frustrating but I am making it day by day.
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